Day Thirty Three - Exhumed Porcupine

Dear all,

Today began poorly after waking from a tequila induced coma 3 minutes before I was supposed to be at work. On arrival at work and finding Mac and Angus barking incessantly at a tree, it transpired that Mr. Porky ( see Day Twenty Nine) had sadly come to a sticky end in the bow of one of our more prominent trees at the Inn. Chris and I were sent to retrieve said Porky before the odour started to drive people away. The tree in question was very high and had started to degrade making climbing it very hazardous as footing was uncertain.



Chris and I managed to lay a ladder on top of the rotting bark in attempting to secure the terrain. On arrival at base camp mid way up the tree, I tried to poke the porcupine off the tree using the swimming pool hook. Due to leverage issues, I failed to complete this task, so whilst I acted as a strut, Chris, who is not as vertically challenged as I ( 5ft2 1/2), managed to unwedge the porky using the hook.



Porky fell to the ground with a thud where we rolled him into a bucket before the dogs got wind of it ( I have had enough of quill pulling). He then received a brief burial ceremony on the furthest manure pile we could find. RIP Mr. Porky









Gandalf update:
1. Gandalf has certainly been eating his wheaties... the rack grows on.

Day Thirty Two - Intergalatic Meditation

Dear all,

Today I decided to cleanse my soul and meditate on the ridiculously large satellite dish that we have hanging about in the 'equipment graveyard'. I thought this might help me psychically.



As I was keen to make contact with Star Fleet, I practiced the well known 'lion breath (http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/1705) an amusing yoga technique which involves exhaling your breath slowly out through the mouth with a distinct "ha" sound.


My habitual laughing fit sadly got in the way of the contact with the unknown.. but I certainly felt considerably more spiritual afterwards.

And in other news:
1. Frodo decided to show off his nashers today during a blatant attempt at stealing Hilton's breakfast.


2. Before heading out this evening to Anna'a triumphant drinking bonanza, Darren decided to vacuum my hair as part of my new beauty regime. Its certainly a good way to remove any tangles... or in my case..miscellaneous dread locks

We had a FABULOUS night; there is nothing like an impromptu drinking session. I am still paying for those tequila shots thou.. ooooo lala

Day Thirty One - High School Hurdles

Dear all

An iconic day today. I have found an arena in which I can pass on all those years of running training to the next generation.... all my years of athletics are paying off. I am also realizing how 'rebellious' I 'may' have been at school... and how a couple of great coaches continued to inspire me and to allow me to win races despite the fact that I was an 80's hippy flower child with a penchant for ale.. .

Anna invited me to help with her kids during track and field practice at Jean Vanier High School in Collingwood and I loved it! I tried to put the kids through their paces without scaring them off... although all of them were complaining of some sort of muscular pain by the end of the session.. we were doing drills over the hurdles today, more next week. Those kids are going to win!

And in other news:

1. Darren and I had a fabulous late night adventure tripping the light fantastic in WallMart. After many a dalliance with the 'open/ close' mechanism on D's current DVD player.. we cut the box loose and D purchased a magnificent BlueRay player. I was drawn to the DVD wall like a moth to a flame.. where I immediately grabbed a 'special edition' Lord of the Rings Blue Ray Box set which came complete with THE ONE RING. A bargain at $60 although I am concerned about the responsibilities that come with being the barer of the ring. I will have to consult with Gandalf immediately.

Day Thirty - Spicy Sausage

Dear all,


Today I was treated to a fabulous home cooked feast by the wonderful D. I arrived home equipped with inn-grown sausages; every summer the inn houses Berkshire Pigs at the inn that we then use as 'meat pigs' (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berkshire_(pig) ). I was yet to try the sausages and I had heard they were exceptional. Darren was already chopping up a mountain of onion when I arrived. The sausages were cooked, sliced and put into the boiling pot of tomato goodness D had cooked up ( tasted like it was straight from an authentic Tuscan stove).


The pasta was then cooked to perfection ( cold water at the last minute.. a D trick and very effective) and in a blink of an eye we were eating a feast in front of the hilarious Nacho Libre. It obviously provided us with substantial brain food as we went on to win trivia, a combination of D's mental dexterity and Anna's amazing knowledge of films.




And in other (somewhat disturbing) news:
1. Today septic tank at the inn exploded.. and I was involved in the clean up. As Dai-itchi, one of our volunteers from Japan exclaimed ' its raining in the basement' ...


2. The summer of love has begun. I am back in the garden and taking it by storm. Look out for my plans to dominate the Inn with Sunflowers, to harvest a mammoth organic veggie and herb garden and turn the Crofts into Provence using the medium of Lavender... I will keep you posted

Day Twenty Nine - Porcupine Quills

Dear all,

Mac makes the headlines again.. this time as a result of an altercation with a Porcupine. Resident Mr. Porky has now surfaced and is on the prowl with a vengeance equipped with a brand new armor of fresh barbs.

Mac decided to defend his tribe and attack the porcupine. Needless to say, the 35lb Porky won the battle within about 3 seconds and Mac ended up with a dozen hooked barbs in both his mouth and lower lip. It took 30 minutes of Chris holding him in the seasoned 'Mac-Grip' and me using pliers to 'carefully' yank the barbs from his mouth. Before and after shots of the barbed-one attached:

And in other news:

1. Today I used a blow torch. This was doubly exciting as I used it to help weld a pipe. I also got very burnt today: From the very hot sun...not the blow torch.

Day Twenty Eight - Tower of Trials

Dear all,

Today I was sent out to gain experience in the fearsome 'Tower of Trials'. Now, the Tower of Trials is not for the faint hearted and must only be entered into on the understanding that key tasks must be completed in order to succeed. My quest involved climbing to the top of 'Hay Mountain' and hoist a [50lb] hay bale above my head. Although I haven't weighed myself in a while, I am quite small and although I cart around multiple bales of hay around on a daily basis, I have yet to lift one clear above my head.

Once standing aloft on around 45 bales of hay, I had an almost out-of-body experience and lifted the bale clear above my head. I held it up there long enough for Paul to get a quick picture. My reward: 1 beer and 500 experience points.

And in other news:

1. I have decided to paint as many paintings of naked people and flowers as I possibly can in order to [next year] join the GumBall Rally http://www.gumball3000.com

2. Today I also tried my hand at 'twig arranging' using the beautiful 'dogwood' which is found widely in this area

A Fabulous Dogwood Forest:

2. Kick boxing

Day Twenty Seven - Ice Wine

Dear all

Such a beautiful day and prime time for sampling some freezer-fresh Ice Wine. I have been meaning to try Ice Wine for months and months but for some reason never got around to it. My fabulous neighbour Connie popped over this afternoon to drop off some flaxseed so we cracked open a bottle that Linda and I have been keeping aside for a special occasion.

We sampled an ice wine from the Niagara based Lake View Cellars (http://www.lakeviewcellars.ca/). Ice wine is widely produced here in Canada the quality of which is world renowned. It is produced from grapes that have been frozen on the vine. The sugars and other dissolved solids of these grapes do not freeze, but the water does, allowing for a more concentrated grape and once pressed a much smaller amount of very sweet wine is produced. A vine would normally produce sufficient grapes to make one bottle of wine, but frozen grapes will produce a glass which explains the often dramatic differential in price between the two. http://www.winesofcanada.com/icewine.html

I didn't think I would like the ice wine as much as I did as I have a slight aversion to very sweet liquid things but I was very pleasantly surprised. Upon sipping the wine, it was very sweet but has great balance achieved by its acidity which gives it a very clean finish and almost tropical flavor. It was actually very refreshing.

I would highly recommend trying Ice Wine and at the very least use the fabulous bottle as a candelabra.

And in other news:

1. I will keep you all posted on Gandalf's ever expanding rack. Growing at a staggering rate and sprouting at least an inch per day, the nodules of last week are looking more and more 'antler'-like....