Day Fifteen - Making Maple Syrup

Dear all,

A very industrial day here at the inn which in turn encouraged a much more serious and educational task: Today I made Maple Syrup.

Right back in the early days on Day Two, I got involved in collecting the sap. Due to the cold nights and tropical days, the sap is literally pouring out from the trees which led to a sap collecting frenzy.

The sap is then taken to Maple Syrup HQ: A wood burning furnace that we have on the go all day and most of the night. We fuel the fire with wood collected from the bush (see above-I was feeling strong). The sap is then boiled down in two consecutive containers over the fire.

Once the syrup is boiled down to a sufficient level in the finishing pan, we bring the liquid into the kitchen where it is boiled down on the stove for one last time and then filtered through a special fabric sieve. We test the density of the syrup using a hydrometer device.

Once the syrup has passed all quality checks, it is bottled and stashed away for a rainy day. All in all a truly Canadian challenge.

And in other news:

1. The snow has finally left Collingwood. Apparently in saying this means we are going to get arctic conditions and three feet of snow next week...

2. Mac finds the last remaining snow pile and manages to get ice stuck in his cage. Fortunately I was on hand to prevent suffocation ( Mac's daily brush with death.. Yesterday, he was caught playing on the pond... The day before, he was charging the electric fence to get at the chickens... sigh )

Day Fourteen - Circumference of a Horse

Dear all,

Back at work after a blissful Sunday and I was thrown straight back into the mix on the farm. Although several opportunities presented themselves to me, I decided today that I would attempt to wrap my arms around the entire circumference of a horse so my fingers were touching.

As you may or may not know, some horses are large, some are small, but most are large. And

even the smallest of horses are considerably larger than me. After much deliberation, I picked Frodo ( one of our resident minature horses and barer of the one ring ) as my trusty assistant. Miniature horses are generally quite small so would fit this challenge nicely: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miniature_horse

The two videos attached document this challenge. On arrival at the field, it was clear that Frodo was less than enthused about being used as a guinea pig in the ' circumference experiment' but he gave in eventually and indulged me in my quest. Other horses were more keen to get involved ( namely Imagine and Hilton, also pictured, however both are from the Percheron breed [i.e. the opposite of miniature http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Percheron] and trying to wrap my arms around either would have required my arms to be at least 2m long...This challenge would not have been realistic. However, mission accomplished with Mr. Frodo!

And in other ( rather distressing ) news

1. Today, Mac rolled in the worst thing in the world. This thing is still unclassified.. but I fear it may have been skunk poo. As everyone else seemed to immediately disown Mac and/or experience violent nausea.. I was the designated dog de-contaminator... photos of the newly cleaned puppy are attached

Day Thirteen - Ice Lake

Dear all,


While I was mulling over my daily task with a coffee and baileys this morning, Darren had an epiphany which would subsequently evolve as my challenge: 'Why don't you jump in the lake?'. Later on in the afternoon, Marc, on hearing this story, voiced his concerns ( ice on the lake, sub zero temperatures, sharks, cardiac arrest.. etc etc ) but kindly offered to accompany me as my cameraman.

On arrival at the lakeside, I felt that full immersion in the lake would potentially incur life loss... so an executive decision was made...and today's challenge was 'to dip my toe into Georgian Bay, in March, in sub zero temperatures'.

Despite growing up in Cornwall, UK where the water is less than tropical, allowing my foot to enter that water was like sticking my foot into a bowl of metal shards.


The two videos attach document the challenge. Apologies for any offensive language used in the making of this film.







And in other news:
1. With the wind in my hair I had a sudden urge to run from Collingwood to Thornbury (around 20km each way). I now worry that I ran a marathon without intention. Upon arrival in Thornbury, I mildly cursed myself for not carrying my phone as I would have probably waved the white flag in surrender and called up my knight in shining armor, D. I didn't have my phone... so had to run all the way back.. against a head wind. Good endurance training though....
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=ClY&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel=s&q=collingwood%20maps&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wl

2. 'Meat of the day' was Anna and Nadia's fabulous meatballs. Thank you Anna for yet another amazing dinner, homemade salami, pasta, meatballs, eclairs... Totally delicious, Anna you are a goddess!

Day Twelve - Unicycle

Dear all

Today's challenge was to ride a unicycle. I stumbled across an abandoned unicycle whilst feeding the chickens in the in the barn.

I discovered quickly that riding a unicycle requires a whole new skill set that is unlike any other and demands considerable respect. I did a small amount of internet-based research before I took to the wheel. Most people average 10 to 12 hours to learn to be able ride a unicycle unassisted with some degree of control. I had 15 minutes to learn how to unicycle on a wheel that had no air and and as you can imagine, it ended poorly. My decision to use ski poles as crutches was not my best and, I think, created a major hindrance in my training. After two fairly agressive falls, I decided to self eject and try again another day.

In conclusion, this will be an ongoing project. Any training tips would be most welcome.

And in other news:

1. Back in Camp Reindeer, The big chief Gandalf tried a new line in attack attempting to break through the fence using nose and front feet whilst I was 'outside of the pen'. Photo attached. The strange nodules on his head are the humble beginnings of his new and improved antlers that will become the rack ( to be seen in ) of 2010. Bring on the tranquilizer gun.

2. Meat of the day: Lamb stuffed keema naan.
Especially good on the side of an extra hot lamb curry. Once again The Tandoori House (http://www.collingwoodtandoorihouse.com )breaks all taste records and satisfied Marc's Panamanian cravings for Vindaloo.

Day Eleven - Epic Trivia

Dear all


Tonight was the eagerly anticipated Jean Vanier Fund Raising Trivia Night. What a night!
A plethora of firsts for me this evening. Trivia nights are very close to my heart for a number of reasons and I have dabbled in many a pub quiz over the years.. but Anna ( The triumphant host and trivia goddess ) pulled out all the stops in putting together this event. Over 100 people attended with 15 teams of eager folk chomping at the bit and ready to claim the number one prize: To become Trivia Champions!

The event was held at the Royal Collingwood Legion and on realizing I had no idea how to get there, I was told to 'look out for a large army tank'.. an unusual thing to try and find in the suburbs of Collingwood... needless to say, this advice was accurate.

The evening attracted guests from far and wide, including the wonderful Marc, Darren's best mate, who had travelled all the way from PANAMA to attend.

The omnipotent Aaron ( King of all things trivia and host of the 'never to be missed' Wednesday Trivia Night at the Admiral's Post) took the helm as quiz master, newly equipped with power point presentation and hoisted up on the stage. The format was as per usual: Five question rounds, two quick fire beer rounds, a music round and the final jeopardy question. The theme was ' School' with all money collected going towards projects at Jean Vanier (http://jvh.ycdsb.ca ) where Anna is a teacher.

Our team ( The Brothers and Sisters of Captain Khaos) was strong and on form, the members being Dale, Marc, Dave, Nadia, Karla, Darren and I. 'Man of the Match' goes to the brilliant Darren, who not only stepped up with 'Hawaii' and ' Delorian' but nailed the final jeopardy question which catapulted us into a tie in first place. It was a brilliant night, Anna, it was a triumph, cant wait for the next one!

And for any trivia enthusiasts out there... (and without checking google please... ):

What is the word for the number that has 100 zeros...??

Day Ten - Core Toning

Dear all

Today I decided to true 'Spring Fever' fashion to get involved in a new fitness regime. In retrospect.. possibly not the best day to do this after 9 hours of raking gravel off the driveway, staking hay bales, collecting wood from the forest and then running 10km.... Anyway, what's done is done, back pains usually fade..

Today, I tried out a new 'Core Training' kit. In the kit were three items:

1. A Slimmer Belt - An alarmingly uncomfortable strip of material that ( I think) causes you to 'perspire' away subcutaneous fat. It has 'easy grip closure for adjustability' and is hand washable. Sounds rather suspect to me.

2. 4-Way Ab Stretch - Again.. looks like a torture device or

something you would use during child birth.. but interestingly did seem to make sit ups easier. I wonder whether this may be rather counter-productive.

3. The Twister Board - My favorite. But not for its 'core training' abilities. Just because its fun and is rather a nice feeling on the stomach (nb - after I had taken off the slimmer belt).

In conclusion, my abs look the same... but my arms are certainly improving after 5 hours of raking in the sun.

And in other news:

1. Its officially summer.. the new range of Wall Mart flip flops are on the shelves. $4 a pair. Attached are what remains from last year from the original 6 pairs purchases ( Mac ate 3 pairs ) and my three brand spanking new ones.

2. I found Mac in a rabbit hole. He clearly also has 'Alice' fever..

Day Nine - Tractor Girl

Dear all

Today was a big day for me. Despite having access and full usage of various forms of machinery up at the farm, bizarrely.. I had never been given the green light to drive the tractor. I have a good driving record ( just one 'car-in-a-ditch' episode, but that was erroneous ), the boys just seemed to look away or find a very urgent task to do whenever I bought it up... hmmmm.

Needless to say, no one could ignore my urgent requirement to do something unusual.. so Chris ( resident oracle at the inn ) stepped up to the plate. I was given a quick fire lesson in everything 'tractor' then I was off.. just with the minor disclaimer that I should avoid using the snow blower (very detrimental after a big melt ). Attached is the video of my maiden voyage.. now I warn you, it is certainly not high end in terms of cinematic excitement but it is nice to have such a momentous occasion on record.

Day Eight - Yoga in Art

Dear all,

Day Eight and time to catch a breath after the excitement of the last few days. The perfect solution: Hatha yoga. Now, I have dabbled in yoga over the years, but this turned out to be quite a unique experience.

After meeting up with my darling friend Karla, we set off for the 'Level Gallery' situated on the High Street in Collingwood (http://www.levelgallery.ca/default2.asp )

The Gallery itself is beautiful, full of amazing local work from sculpture to landscapes ( in a dream world, I would have something very similar... on a beach.. next to a vineyard.. on top of a sushi bar.. etc etc ).

The yoga session was held within the gallery and taught by a lovely lady called Cathy. Cathy is one of those rare, serene folk who seem to walk around surrounded by a golden orb of light and is very possibly on sabbatical from Rivendell. The session was apparently for 'beginners' however this was clearly not the case. A combination of props ( yes props ) during the warm up ( called something else by Cathy in yoga language) and the sequence and speed of poses was starting to send off alarm bells in my head ringing at a very different frequency to the meditation bells being used by Cathy. However the 90 minute class went by in a flash and to top it all, during the final relaxation, we were all treated to a head massage.... total bliss.

And in other news:

1. I braved the Reindeer equivalent of no-mans land ( also called the 'death-run' )... in attempt to retrieve a food bowl that had been dragged out of the holding pen area. The silver lining is that in doing so, I stumbled upon two seperate antlers of which the Reindeer had shed over the winter (http://www.deer-library.com/artman/publish/article_161.shtml ).. Thankfully I am still alive.

2. 'Meat of the day' presented itself in a cup of 'chicken and noodle' soup.. what a discovery that was.. another classic for the favorites list.

Day Seven - Guinea Hens

Dear all,

Todays task was unplanned... but so unusual I felt I had to give it a spot as day seven.

On the farm we pride ourselves on having a small flock of Guinea hens (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guineafowl ) They are very pleasant creatures; eat bugs, chat to horses, shriek a lot.

The farm is also home to Mac... A Shitzu/Jack Russel cross, originally from an inner city 'puppy mill', he now has the best life a dog could wish for spending his days chasing cars, protecting the inn from the local Rottweiler and rolling in horse manure.

Today, while pottering around the inn, I found myself in the middle of a blood thirsty battle which involved our delinquent puppy trying to murder one of the Guineas. My 'on the spot' challenge was to retrieve the Guinea from the jaws of Mac... then fend him off whilst I found a safe haven for the bird. The only safe haven available was the luxury 'Crofts' at the inn.. so within a five second time frame, I have a bird running around the house.. a psychopathic canine trying to head butt the door down.. and me frantically trying to contain all of this with minimal life loss or damage.

Needless to say, Mac is now [once again] modeling the new range in 'Hannibal Lector' fashion: a metal cage with leather straps. The Guinea is still alive {still in shock and a little naked}

Mac still follows me around for the majority of my working day. I still bathe him. 

Day Six - The Dam Pub

Dear all

Today's task epitomizes what is good and true about Sunday evenings... heading out to the local, drinking beer and eating steak.

I hasten to add that I sadly did not fulfill this criteria

1. The local I speak of was 'The Dam Pub' (http://www.thedampub.ca/).... Darren and I had never been there before.. and even on the back roads, it's a good 20 minutes drive.

2. Drinking beer, the concept of which is thwarted when one has to drive 20 minutes anywhere, especially on the back roads.


3. Steak.. ha, mission accomplished, this evening I ate steak. Always keen to multi-task, this also proved a great opportunity to gaze at the pub's 300 strong bottle of whiskey collection, discuss the wonder of pine nuts, feel nostalgic sitting up at the bar surrounded by decor very reminiscent of the many locals I had back in England and consider the 359 other fabulous things I could possibly fit into the next year:  Darren you are amazing.


The Dam Pub, I salute you! A strong contender for a local if I ever I saw one

Appendix 3: This Blog is not intended to be about me eating a different meat source every day for one year.. although it may look this way.

Note to self: Prime rib served with horseradish is awesome

Day Five - Snow Shoes

Dear all

Today's task was chosen for today for two reasons:

1. High activation levels after the fabulous feast of last night - Beef Tenderloin appears to do to me what most achieve from drinking 5 cans of red bull.

2. The tropical weather ( +5oC ), which continues to baffle the populous, is causing any remaining snow to rapidly disappear. Unless I travel up to the Yukon for my daily tasks... my days are numbered in pursuing any snow based activities.

As a result today my task was to find one of the last few stretches of snow on the property and go snowshoeing - a pastime much loved in Canada and much needed in many circumstances when snow gets to be more than 3 feet deep. I find the concept of strapping a large reinforced tennis racket to my feet deeply satisfying and decided that I would attach video footage of one my snow shoeing attempts to this post. To add drama to the piece I decided to run on the snow.. and as you can imagine.. it ended poorly..

I am looking forward to next winter when I intend to get out the snow shoes in mid November along with my thermals.. as opposed to mid March with my bikini.

Appendix 2: Please note in attached video I am modeling the 'fleece of joy', my favorite item of clothing that continues to be a life-saver.

Day Four - Beef Tenderloin

Dear all

Today's task was significant in that it defined my transition from Vegetarian to Carnivore...

The wonderful Vince and Kerry invited Darren and I up for a fantastic evening of wine and food. It was a perfect evening; gorgeous and balmy with amazing company and the start of what I am sure will be an amazing summer. 

It was also a great opportunity for what would become today's task: Injecting Cognac-butter into beef tenderloin and then eating it.

The 'beef syringe' was a truly terrifying implement and once the cognac had been sampled by everyone ( very important), it was added to the melted butter and then injected into the tenderloin. This was much harder than it sounds... cognac butter ended up in places where cognac butter should never be. 

The now pulsating meat was then left in the fridge whilst a couple of magnificent bottles of bordeaux were cracked. It was then transfered onto the BBQ and before I knew it I was tucking into one of the most amazing things I have ever eaten. It was INCREDIBLE, a taste sensation!

It was a fantastic evening, Vince and Kerry thank you so much, we must do it again very soon!