Day Forty Five - Brazilian Wax

Dear all,

Oooo la la, today the big day of hair removal. I would want no one other than the goddess on high, Melissa to administer the treatment.. I was going for the big one.. The Brazilian!

I was also seeing Skot, the hair magician so the waxing was punctuating hair dye and style ( as always I feel bad about going to see such a master such a Skot, my hair is never in the 'best' condition, but he always seems to turn it around, even if only temporarily)



Mid way through my hair cut and covered in foils ( the lady next to me randomly described me as a 'Ninja Warrior', I am taking this as a compliment, but I am not entirely sure Ninja Warriors wander around wearing hair foils: Maybe I am just misinformed) I was escorted into Melissa's boudoir ready for the waxing.

Now, I knew there would be a certain amount of mind-over-matter and mental conditioning over this challenge. I focused on being zen and with a deep yoga breath, Melissa went in with the hot wax. I have gotta say, it really wasn't that bad. I made sure I kept talking throughout to divert from the pain factor, but really, it was over so quickly with not a smidgen of after-shock. This is of course a tribute to the skill of Melissa: She is amazing. Skot also pointed out that it is doubly fabulous to get a Brazilian Wax by a gorgeous pregnant lady any day and insisted I popped that in the blog. That leads me on to congratulations all round, Melissa being pregnant and Skot engaged! HURRAH!



Another blissful evening painting with my new swishy hair ( Skot, you work miracles too) and another strawberry salad ( gawd love leftovers). My new look got a major thumbs up from Darren too!

And in other news:
1. The Canada Geese are back. Attached is a pictured of a mating pair just outside our condo. They are beautiful birds, back from their holiday's and ready to get stuck in to a summer in Collingwood. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Canada_Goose

Day Forty Four - Scallops and Strawberry salad

Dear all,

Today I was back in the kitchen, and decided to raise the bar and invest in some 'fruit de mer'. Being Wednesday and therefore trivia night ( with the theme of sitcoms) , I was keen to ensure we were both powered full of omega 3 and 6 to maximize our chances against a strong field of fellow TV watchers.

So, I dropped into Loblaws en route back home after work and with trepidation went straight to the fresh fish counter. I was initially going to purchase King Prawns along with Scallops.. but on realizing they were going for $10 a pop, I decided this was a little pricey for what was essentially an experimental meal.


So, scallops it was, and with the help of the all knowing and ever patient D, I set to work in the kitchen. Inspired by the ultimate kitchen guru, Karla, I was attempting a salad made 'with strawberries' and it turned out very well. Balsamic vinegar, olive oil, shallots, basil lettuce and Strawbs were in the mix.
Please note: Salad is always much more tasty when eaten out of a casserole dish.


The scallops were most certainly the brainchild of D. We used some of the left over Double Smoked bacon, pan fried [with no fat - very good D-tip] and then wrapped the scallops in the bacon. Darren ( I watched over very carefully) then flash fried the scallops and served with new potatoes, the meal was ready to serve in around 15 minutes. MAGNIFICO!


Thank you again to Darren for being so patient throughout my domestic goddess training. He keeps on coming with those culinary gems: A true master.




Appendix 11X
Darren has an incredible pair of salad serving 'scissors'. Ingenious. It will deliver the perfect serving size AND even pick up the smallest of pine nut from the salad bowl.
JO: if you want one for xmas, put your order in now [with the slippers]

Day Forty Three - Starbucks Wifi

Dear all,

Despite being the archetypal city chick for many years, it struck me that I had never once taken my laptop into Starbucks ( or in fact any coffee shop) and logged on whilst enjoying a cup of Starbies finest.


SO today was the day that I relived that dream. After work I headed straight downtown to the hallowed Collingwood Starbucks (http://www.starbucks.ca/en-ca/_About+Starbucks/Starbucks+in+Canada.htm). I was unsure as to how my assault on Starbucks would come across, but on entering the store and seeing two teen aged girls, both simultaneously using their respective Ipad and Iphone... I knew I was old news with my dilapidated Mac Book.




I stayed for 30 minutes or so, drank my cappuccino, stared at the spinning rainbow wheel on my computer screen and left. There is however something deeply comforting about sitting in coffee shops by ones self; stolen time, time to think, time out - like sitting in trains.

And with the power of caffeine.. life must go on.





And in other news:

1. Angus and Mac have decided to audition for Sesame Street.
This post was bought to you by the letter H

2. Today in art class, inspired by my cosmopolitan coffee interlude, I sourced a flower picture online and painted it on three separate canvi. The three tablets will then be presented together in sequence ( also known as a triplex). For a rush job, I was quite pleased in the power of the Orchid.

Appendix V11:
Apologies for lack of video footage of late.. I am having technical difficulties...

Day Forty Two - Sauna Suit

Dear all,

Today I was back on the spring-time fitness regime, my latest challenge involving an alarmingly named 'sauna suit' purchased from Wall Mart during a moment of bewildered awe and borderline insanity.

The sauna suit was a frightening two piece design that had the most disturbing odor; almost like it had been dipped in turpentine. The combination of design and fabric encourages your body to sweat and it is recommended that you use the suit during exercise; a regime that apparently causes dramatic reduction in size.

After all my years of running, I was very intrigued about use of the sauna suit. I managed a brief test run up and down the drive way and it was truly one of the most uncomfortable runs of my life. The concept of running in the suit for any length of time is incomprehensibly mind blowing. I am almost positive that instead of weight loss, it causes dehydration, asphyxiation and deep distress.

Linda was kind enough to document the challenge in the attached video.

Appendix V1:

If anyone would like a [high quality] silver suit made from chemicals, please don't hesitate to contact me at libbymourant@yahoo.co.uk

And in other news:

1. A HORRIFIC experience this morning. Whilst making a beeline for the coffee machine after arriving at work, I ran into Jacob ( a new volunteer from Germany ) who, in a slight tizzy, exclaimed that the dogs had 'found a rabbit'. I knew ( with a sinking heart) that it was down to me to deal with the situation. Not knowing what I was going to find, I braved the scene of the crime. The crime was no less than brutal murder by decapitation. Mac had managed to execute said crime whilst wearing his muzzle and was now sitting on the lawn, looking like the cat had all the cream, eating the rabbit's head through the muzzle by sucking it out through the metal prongs.

I was going to document the incident in photos but decided against it ( mainly due to the post traumatic stress caused from the removal of the headless rabbit) and I am sure it would have contravened some level of broadcasting standards regulations.

Instead, a slightly more cheery picture of Mac eating Angus.

Day Forty One - Metro-Sexual Stallion

Dear all,

Today's challenge was fraught with danger but that did not deter me from my goal. My task was to turn our Rock Star Stallion, Noni, into a resident Metro Sexual. Noni is a, exquisite looking, pure bred Icelandic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_horse), with a fiery temperament that is ever so slightly reminiscent of that of a great white shark.

I decided that I would attempt to braid his mane as it is so fabulously decadent. Now, this is fraught with danger for two reasons....

1. He is a stallion

2. He is a stallion who lives next to a field of delectable females, many of whom he has already [aggressively] courted but he is certainly in the game for courting them again.

Saying that, he is gorgeous and responded very well to his make over. After a brief consultation, I went for a side-parting and braid due to the limited time frame in which I was working in (i.e. the time it takes for him to eat one bucket of grain: usually around 20 seconds)

Below is a brief video of today's task. Apologies for the brief commentary, it is key to devote 100% of ones concentration to Noni upon entering his field for safety reasons.

Day Forty - Double Smoked Bacon and Banana/Apple Cake

Dear all

Day forty and another milestone reached, this time in the form of apple/ banana cake and 'home grown' double smoked bacon. The apple and banana cake was the brain child of Darren who exclaimed 'why not add apple' whilst we were mulling over the relative merits of banana bread. He truly has a brilliant mind and it extends to culinary expertise.

After a quick google, I decided on making this fabulous recipe http://www.sugarlaws.com/apple-banana-bread. It was quickly quite clear that I biting off 'slightly' more than I could chew when I realized that the recipe called for 'pre-baked apple slices' {gulp}. Needless to say, I rose to the occasion, aided by a corona or two, and the result was fabulous!

MUM and JO: I am improving!

My other assault on the kitchen involved some home-grown bacon, [double smoked.. ooo la la] which was tossed in some pre-blanched Brussel Sprouts with added pine nuts and onion. It was totally decadent yet cleansing at the same time.. the perfect combination.

http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/1081/brussels-sprouts-with-bacon-and-pine-nuts.aspx

And in other news:

1. Yet another breath taking view from our place early morning. Life doesn't get much better than this.

2. Today I had my first relationship counseling session with Gandalf. The big G needs to work on his anger management; I need to work on my insecurity issues that have arisen due to this 'mismanaged' anger. This will become particularly pertinent during the 'rutting' season when any bonds formed will be extremely important in order to bypass Gandalf's rampant hormonal rage. The nature of the beast is contrasted, some might say, by his very strong affection for eating dandelion leaves

Note to self: NEVER enter reindeer pen without a fist full of dandelions.. it could save your life.

3. It is officially summer.. ( well spring ) and to celebrate: a wonderful bottle of shiraz on the lawn with Karla, Jay, Candice and Adam. We even went exploring through the forest ( please note Adam's staff - it is always very important to wield a staff when trekking)

Day Thirty Nine - Canadian Eh?

Dear all,

Today I had the honor of one of my oldest friends 'LJ' joining me for my challenge ( FYI - Luke would like to remain anonymous for the duration of this task). I wanted to give him an introduction to the Canadian Language using skype as our classroom [ to maintain the authentic 'Trans-Atlantic' atmosphere]. We decided to start slow, so after brief discussion went with three mini-workshops, each aimed at the beginner level. All three lessons are documented below (D saved the day again by rescuing me from my compression abyss... [I was having major mixed media compression issues])

Lesson One:

Awesome and Sweet

In Canada, (1) Awesome and (2) Sweet are used widely to convey something that is cool and/ or great. Here, LJ gives an example of how these words would be used:

Lesson 2:

What's up?

Brits are generally totally oblivious on how to answer the classic North American phrase 'What's up'. I attempted to give LJ a tutorial on this during the second lesson. As you can see LJ is a fine example of how we Brits stumble almost immediately on being greeted with this phrase. A good example of how 'Wazzup' is used can be viewed in the iconic Budweizer advert as posted below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJmqCKtJnxM

Lesson 3:

Eh?

Folks in Canada will be well aware of the importance and extensive use of 'EH' across virtually all English speaking demographics. EH is used for ascertaining comprehension, continued interest, agreement etc and can also be added to the end of a declarative sentence to turn it into a question - i.e. The weather is nice, eh?

LJ didn't fully grasp the concept of EH in the time allotted for the EH workshop, but there is no doubt he will improve with practice and time.

As always, LJ gives a solid performance and is awarded A- for his efforts. With continued commitment to his studies, he should become a Canadian in no time at all. Well Done Luke.

Please note: A final note from the artist: please abstain from stalking LJ on the internet as a result of watching this film.

Appendix v:

Note to self: Never leave freshly baked bread outside on the veranda to cool before slicing. It appears that Chipmunks are fitted with a highly sophisticated locational device that allows them to track baked goods in under 20 seconds with the clear objective to seek and destroy. This is especially problematic when serving guests for breakfast.

Day Thirty Eight - Massage 'Tool'

Dear all


Today the wonderful Darren volunteered himself as a guinea pig in my 'Massage' challenge. I used a new device ( ingeniously ) called a massage 'tool'. It even had LED lights on the three vibrating prongs that lit up upon turning on the machine. It was very easy to use although I did lose a little of the sensation in my right hand after prolonged use. Darren gave the Massage 'Tool' 8 out of 10 and for $6 I think a worthy investment!

And in other news:
1. I vow to make the ultimate banana bread. Darren thoroughly supports me in this challenge of which I am very excited about and I have already managed to get two loaves in the oven over the course of two days. One recipe was taken from the BBC Good Food Magazine by the fabulous Gregg Wallace ( The Brits among us will know him from the BBC's fabulous 'Master Chef')


The next recipe was from the hand of Nigella Lawson, the original and [some might say] ultimate domestic goddess ( I had a 'slight' issue with cake-overflow with this one - but it actually ended up being superior in taste to Gregg's version )



2. I also experimented with Potatoes today and managed to cobble together a huge plate of crispy cajun spuds. This was my first real stab at cooking with 'spices' and it actually worked out quite well.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Cajun-Spicy-Potato-Wedges/Detail.aspx


3. BRUSSEL SPROUTS: One of my favorite vegetables and out of the ether, another sub-challenge begins: To find the ultimate brussel-based recipe. Today I tried stir fry brussel sprouts with lemon and ginger ( with some cheeky mushrooms on the side). It was divine.

http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/281252/Stir-fried-sprouts-with-honey--ginger-and-lemon

Day Thirty Seven - Mucho Burrito

Dear all,

A potentially moribund day of 'visa' related admin awaited me this morning but my day was given a magnificant 180 by the wonderful D. After my triumphant visa extension, I now face the humdrum of the increasing my files of [very important] paperwork two-fold. Darren offered to hot-foot me down to Barrie to extend my wranglings with Service Canada to a brief yet wonderful shopping excursion that included what can only be described as the ultimate in fast food gastronomy. If ever you are looking for a quick snack in Barrie, I strongly urge you to check out Mucho Burrito, its fabulous! http://www.muchoburrito.com/



Salsa music and a wonderful relaxed vibe great you on entering the restaurant. We had a choice of meats along with a vast array of condiments for our burrito. Darren recommended the shredded pork which was a genius call and before we knew it, we were sitting watching the world go by, sipping a beer and tucking into a scrumptious burrito that I absolutely did not want to end.








Due to 'issues' with our first Blue Ray DVD player (  it doesn't play blue ray), we found solace in Costco and we now have a beautiful new Blue Ray Player sat home currently screening 'The Dark Knight' ( which came in the box). It opens on command and has a facility that magically syncs with your wireless internet. I love it!




And in other news:

1. The Porcupine strikes AGAIN. This time in the form of structural damage ( Evidence 1: Floor boards next to outdoor hot tub now destroyed) . Said porcupine sadly died during the night and I was sent to lay him to rest beside his prickly friend. Their burial ground lies in the manure pile (thus continuing the circle of life).





2. Following on from yesterday's 'news', Mac ended up 'in hospital' as a result of his quill-based injuries. He is fine. Just a little embarrassed.

Day Thirty Six - Pruning Apple Trees

Dear all

Today my challenge was considerably more physical than of late and particularly exciting as I got to use a hand saw that was slightly larger than me.

I was to start the 'mammoth' task of pruning the apples trees in our not un-significant orchard ( there are hundreds of trees.. I am yet to count them { that could be one of my daily tasks} .. but one could fairly assume there are hundreds)

Pruning is key at various times during the year in order to maximize fruit production and to produce a balance in the shoots that are produced year by year. It also invigorates growth and develops a strong tree framework and the supports the fruit production and allows optimal sunlight to reach all the branches.

PRUNE A FOUR YEAR OLD TREE Prune from December to February. Pruning is the similar to the three-year old tree - the pink coloured parts of the tree show growth in the previous year, this should not be pruned unless it is diseased. The black coloured side shoots should all be pruned by a third. Always prune to just above an outward facing bud.

Armed with an arsenal of tools, I got to work and eventually got into the swing of things, sawing and chopping down branches to my hearts content. I felt very adventurous poised in a number of very precarious positions up the trees with my saw in hand. Needless to say, the trees look the same but we do have an ever expanding bonfire pile growing behind the pig pen. And I am a little sun kissed.

And in other news:

1. ANOTHER porcupine has been quick to take up residence at the inn. Our valiant hero and protector (Mac) made sure he 'introduced' himself to our new friend.. which the Porky promptly reciprocated with a fistful of quills to the leg... Mac is currently in a ball on the sofa after the almost surgical procedure we call now call 'quill-hell' and [for various reasons] Mac has been re-named the 'Hell-Raiser'

2. Overnight, Angus mysteriously turned into a Polar Bear Cub.

Day Thirty Five - Ebay Naked Lady

Dear all

Today I decided to take the plunge and sell one of my paintings on ebay. Now I thought this would be a relatively easy task but Oh-My-Goodness, it was not. In fact at 3am this morning, I was ready to call it a day and rack my brains for a last minute 'unusual' task ( skinny dipping in the lake.. starting up a pirate radio station.. something like that).

In a flash of late night delirium, I realized it was in fact Canadian Ebay who had found my UK version of 'Pay Pal' a tad suspicious and upon entering my UK bank details, they had 'frozen' my account (grrrr).

So... I headed straight back to the virtual form of the UK and needless to say, my post was up in minutes.

I will be excited to see if it sells ( and will also have to discuss this with Agent Cole, he being the brain power of this operation) although not excited about the postage.. ( 2 x grrrrr)

Here she is! And more to come...( in my S T U D I O T O U R in June.... agggggg)

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=260589347600#ht_500wt_932

Day Thirty Four - Deidre and Vince's engagement party

Dear all,

After a blissful day in Rivendell, the brights lights of the big city beckoned D and I down for the engagement party of D's wonderful sister Deidre and her fiance Vince's. We had a quick fire change into our posh togs before leaving... and I've gotta say it, Darren looked amazing.. he is truly the most gorgeous of them all.

We had a great drive down to Toronto and arrived at Buca at around 7pm (http://www.buca.ca/). Buca is a fabulous venue, located down town in a converted red-brick factory with several rooms, all decked out in fabulous detail with wine, cured meats and italian fare.

The party was alive by the time we arrived. Deidre and Vince looked so happy as they glided around chatting to everyone who was there to celebrate with them. Deidre, as always, looked completely dazzling and Vince was just beaming. It was so great to meet all their friends and family. During the chit chat, Darren and I were keen to sample the various hors d'oeuvres that were appearing from the kitchen in a constant stream. We managed to position ourselves at the top of the 'stream' ( i.e. the entrance to the kitchen ) in order to sample everything on offer. The favorites were the tempura shitake mushrooms ( heavenly) and the lamb skewers; both totally divine. There was also a fabulous display of cupcakes, all hand made and looked fabulous in the centre of the room.

It was also wonderful to see Darren's Dad again and meet his lovely wife Mary Lou and family. Everyone is just lovely, I felt so lucky to be there. ( NB: I am sure there will be many more photos appearing on face book, I only managed to take a few... at one stage I thought I was actually in Hello Magazine for all the flash photography!)

And finally and most importantly, CONGRATULATIONS DEIDRE AND VINCE XXXX

Appendix iv:

En route to the big smoke, yet another first in the shape of a turkey and bacon sandwich from Tim Hortons. I guarantee several entries related to Tim Horton's throughout the year.. it is truly a Canadian institution and for that reason I will seek out all that is 'Tim Horton's' in my quest for new and unusual things.. . http://www.timhortons.com/